When Hair Is Not “Just Hair”

It is not “just hair.” Often referred to as a woman’s “crowning glory,” much of a woman’s female identity is defined by her hair—from her femininity, to age, to confidence, to style, women communicate a great deal about themselves by how they wear and style their hair. Without hair, women feel stripped of their identity, and in the context of cancer, women often feel as if they are systematically being stripped of themselves.

Many women feel guilty or vain for caring about their hair when faced with a life-threatening disease like cancer. Loved ones may try to support them with well-meaning statements such as “it’s just hair” or “it’ll grow back”—statements that may feel dismissive. Rather than have their feelings dismissed, many women prefer to cope alone.

Many women find hair loss to be one of the most emotionally difficult side effects of cancer treatment. Hair loss strips women of their anonymity and privacy as they undergo treatment. Up until a woman loses her hair to chemotherapy, she will often put most of her energy into maintaining a sense of normalcy for the benefit of loved ones, especially children. Many women find that it is their hair loss that pushes their parents, partners, and children over the edge with fear. Although some women enjoy receiving attention for their style or intelligence, no one enjoys the attention that comes with what feels like the “cancer image.” Women need to know that regardless of how they cope and respond, they are not alone, their feelings are valid, and they have every right to want to feel good about themselves. At no time is such love of self more important than when fighting cancer.

On learning they will lose their hair, many women will immediately begin anticipating the change and the impact it will have on themselves and others. They may envision the worstcase scenarios, possibly making the anticipation of hair loss worse than the event itself. Rather than anticipate hair loss with a growing sense of helplessness, women should be en - couraged to use this time to be proactive, inform themselves, research options, make deliberate choices, and take specific actions to plan for and determine their appearance without hair. By doing so, they empower themselves not just to cope, but to rise above the drastic assault to their selfesteem posed by sudden hair loss. A greater sense of control and positive self-image can help women to take control of other aspects of their lives that contribute to a greater quality of life during cancer treatment.

Helping Women to Take Control of Hair Loss

Chemotherapy-induced hair loss is almost always temporary. Women should keep this in mind when choosing a wig. Encourage them to talk to other women who have purchased wigs and to research reputable wig salons. Many women are advised to purchase a wig before they lose their hair, but in some cases, the scalp sensitivity that comes with chemotherapy-induced hair loss can make wigs especially difficult to wear. Wigs are also generally very hot, an important factor to keep in mind for women who live in a warm climate or who plan to wear their wig in the summer.

Watching the hair fall out can be very traumatic. Some women try to pamper every last hair on their head in the hope that they will not lose all of it. This can prolong and intensify feelings of grief and sadness. Many cancer survivors recommend cutting the hair short before hair loss begins and then shaving the head when hair loss begins so as not to prolong the emotionally difficult process. Taking such steps can help women to feel more in control and avoid some of the most difficult emotions triggered by sudden hair loss.

Until a woman actually loses her hair, it may be hard to determine which headwear options she will prefer. Women should be encouraged to explore many styles and have a sample assortment on hand before they lose their hair. After a woman loses her hair, she can determine her preferences and then purchase additional items according to her style.

Comfort, convenience, and customfit are key elements when shopping for headwear options. Women should be reminded that they may be wearing something on their head for many hours each day. Tight hats, scarves, or wigs can cause headaches. Headwear that is not sufficiently snug will have them feeling insecure, wondering if it will stay in place. Tying and styling head scarves or turbans on a daily basis is a less than optimal option for women battling cancer who may be unable to comfortably lift or hold their arms above their heads.

Rather than face the emotional side of chemotherapy-induced hair loss alone, women need more understanding, more resources, and more options for coping with the drastic assault on their self-esteem that often accompanies hair loss. Because there is no onesize- fits-all means of addressing women’s emotions, the first step is to acknowledge the fact that hair loss can be of deep emotional and healing significance to women. When women find emotional understanding and support to be as comprehensive as diagnosis and treatment, the healing journey will be that much easier.