Working as a pediatric oncology nurse for more than 40 years at Children’s Nebraska has taught me invaluable lessons about caring—not only caring for others but, importantly, caring for myself. When I started this journey in 1983, I never imagined the depth of emotions—hope, grief, joy, and gratitude—that I would experience through caring for my young patients and their families. As a nurse, I’ve had the privilege of being present during some of the hardest and most joyful moments in people’s lives. It’s a role that requires not only a caring heart but a strong one, too.
Over the years, I’ve learned that to truly care for my patients, I must first take care of myself. However, self-care is not one-size-fits-all; each person must determine what works best for them. But having a place to start is incredibly helpful, so I am sharing some of the practices that have helped me maintain my well-being while navigating the field of pediatric cancer care.
Faith has been my anchor throughout my career. It’s what keeps me grounded when things don’t make sense. There are moments in this job that challenge my understanding of fairness and reason. Why do some children get sick while others remain healthy? Why do some families face hardship after hardship? These are questions that do not have easy answers. I have come to accept that some things happen in this world that we simply don’t understand, but we must trust the process and do what we can to find peace with the outcomes.
Faith has also given me a sense of purpose in my work. I often tell myself, “These kids are going to be sick whether I am here or not. But if I am here, I can make a difference in their lives and their parents’ lives, even if it’s just making their day a little bit better.” It’s this belief that keeps me coming back each day with a smile, ready to provide comfort, support, and excellent care.
One of the greatest challenges in nursing is separating your professional life from your personal life. After a day of emotional ups and downs, it can be difficult to transition back into my role as a mother, wife, and friend. I have found that it’s essential to create a clear boundary between work and home life to maintain my well-being. For me, music plays a big role in this transition. On my drive home, I use music to decompress and process the day’s events. Music helps me transition my heart and mind from the hospital to my family and from nurse to mom, wife, and friend.
In my spare time, I also sing on the worship team at my church. My choir family not only helps me to relax and find joy but also to express my faith and cope with the challenges I carry from work. It reminds me that I am more than just a nurse—I am a person with hopes, dreams, and a life outside the hospital walls.
Over the years, I’ve learned that to truly care for my patients, I must first take care of myself.
The relationships we form with families are among the greatest joys of pediatric oncology nursing. We don’t just provide medical care; we become part of their lives. Over time, these families become our extended family. We celebrate their joys, mourn their losses, and stand by them through thick and thin.
This closeness has taught me the importance of being nonjudgmental. Every family has their unique way of coping with their child’s illness, and there are times when I may not fully understand their choices. However, I’ve learned to support families in whatever way they need, because I know I cannot truly understand their situation as I am not walking in their shoes.
I’ve been privileged to witness many life events of my patients—weddings, graduations, and family gatherings. I cherish the holiday cards I receive yearly, each a testament to the incredible journeys these children and their families have taken and how much they’ve overcome. I remember 2 little girls diagnosed with cancer at 5 years old; they became bridesmaids at each other’s weddings. These moments are reminders of the hope and strength of the human spirit.
Over the years, I’ve learned that I can’t fix everyone. As nurses, we are problem solvers by nature; we want to alleviate suffering and see our patients get better. However, the reality of pediatric oncology is that some battles are beyond our control, and the best I can do is control the controllables. Accepting this has been a difficult but necessary step for my well-being. I’ve learned to celebrate the victories, no matter how small, and to find peace knowing that I am doing my best for each child in my care.
Working with these kids has given me an immense sense of perspective. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the little things, but my patients remind me of what truly matters. They show me daily what courage and resilience look like. Because of them, I’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff. They have taught me gratitude in its purest form, and I have passed these lessons on to my children. Watching me work has allowed my family to gain a deep appreciation for life and the family and friends that surround them.
Since I began working in pediatric oncology more than 40 years ago, I have witnessed tremendous progress in treatments and outcomes. Therapies have improved, and we have more tools at our disposal to fight childhood cancer. Yet, there is still so much work to be done. I remain hopeful that, in the next 10 to 15 years, research will lead us to even greater advancements. I dream of a future where our services are no longer needed because cancer has been cured. Until then, I will continue to show up for these kids and their families, providing the care, comfort, and support they need while reminding myself that I need care, too.
Self-care in nursing is an ongoing process. It requires conscious effort to find balance, seek joy, and let go of the things we cannot change. Through much trial and error, I’ve discovered what works for me—faith, music, relationships, acceptance, and hope. Each person’s journey to well-being will look different, and that’s okay. The key is to find what fills your soul and gives you the strength to care for others while also caring for yourself.
As nurses, we have the privilege of walking alongside families during some of their most challenging times. It’s a profound honor, but it also demands that we nurture our hearts along the way. Personally, it has been a journey of love, learning, and constant growth. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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